So it is now after a ten round bout with#1 that I decide that it is long time that I post an update. The bout of which I speak is the new routine of negotiating on an all-to-frequent basis the terms of bedtime.
For those of you that do not have children, (or I would go as far as to say those of you that have children that have yet developed the ability to simply escape their sleeping station or to tell you to go to Hell,) you will not comprehend the ridiculum (new term I feel necessary to coin) that is this recent development.
More on this to come…
To bring you up-to-date, both Royal Princesses are progressing very well. I sat in a room with other 4-year-olds in #1’s peer group the other day, and all father bias aside, her verbal skill rival the most hardened Kindergartner. I forget that what I am so accustomed to is not-the-average 4-year-old vocabulary.
Perhaps I am a self-righteous parent in this regard, but I think people that dumb down their speech for kids need be slapped about their head and neck. I liken this to when mechanics or physicians use their special terminology to paint themselves as superior when essentially they have a better set of vocabulary words to pull from to explain a given situation.
This can be said for any fledgling toddler linguist. Speak to them as you would any other adult! This is how children pick up on language; try this practice if you do not already employ such techniques. Filter as it were…don’t expect a toddler to understand the intricacies of hard versus exasperating, but conversely, don’t speak monosyllabically.
Just last week as we were driving home from daycare #1 was asking if it we could stop by a city park that we regularly drive past on our way home. I, of course, was exhausted and really did not want to chase two rug rats around a sketchy park as the cherry on the crap sundae that was my day – that day. So in a ditch effort to not seem like the perpetual “NO” dad, I laid out these terms:
“[#1] if you help me get your little sister in the house, eat a large portion of your dinner (no way she will ever eat a full meal of anything), and go to bed without crying, or putting up a fight…I will consider taking you to the park on the way home from school tomorrow.”
“Ok, Daddy. I will…wait. What does consider mean?”
“What do you think it means?”
“Does it mean that you will think about it?” queried #1.
“Yes, [#1], that is exactly what consider means,” I replied.
“Consider, Daddy. Cun-seed-er,” parroted #2.
I was as stupid-proud as a father could be on that mundane drive home that evening.
Simple as that folks…don’t dumb it down. Kids have an amazing ability to decipher your “50-cent” words - so don’t hold back. Society needs a few extra syllables, and it starts with the #1’s and #2’s of the world.
